Congeries (con’ger-eez): Piling up words of differing meaning but for a similar emotional effect [(akin to climax)].
“Ouch! Hell! Stop it!” I was the worst dental patient. I yelled from the chair, letting my pain be known to everybody in earshot. The dentist hated me. He tried everything to make me shut up. Patients would actually leave their appointments due to my cries. He finally resorted to overdosing me on nitrous oxide. No more cries of pain! Now I yelled “Wow man!” Or “Far out!”
I liked nitrous oxide. I got some on the dark web along with the huffing equipment. I sucked it all day. I told my colleagues at work that I had severe asthma. They pitied me having to carry the face mask and canister everywhere. Little did they know how blissful it made me. I would carry my canister up Mt. Everest if I had to.
Then I met Peggy Sue. Her parents had named her after the Buddy Holly song. She was crossed-eyed. But she had beautiful red hair—like a pile of autumn leaves burning on top of her head. I told her about my asthma. It was hard hugging her with my canister in the way. It made kindling a romance difficult. She said it was cold against her chest.
There was no way I was giving up nitrous. I decided to get her addicted. I bought her a canister and face mask. I helped put it on her. I told her it was an instrument of empathy and would make us love each other even more. She took her first puff and she was hooked—she made a little squealing sound that was endearing. When we hugged our tanks clanked together, sounding like wedding bells.
We took the hint and got married. We are high all the time. Our life together is a gas.
Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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