Dialogismus (di-a-lo-giz’-mus): Speaking as someone else, either to bring in others ’ points of view into one’s own speech, or to conduct a pseudo-dialog through taking up an opposing position with oneself.
Imagine this, “ME: I’ve always hated people like you. YOU: The feeling is mutual. ME: I’d like to kick you in the balls a throw you out a 10th story window. YOU: I was just thinking the same thing about you. Heave Ho, out the window you go! ME: I knew this was how your unreasonable stand on the environment would end. I’m calling 911 you depraved high-school dropout—if you had taken biology from Ms. Mann like I did, you wouldn’t be murdering me, we’d be working in partnership to save the swamp. Instead you want it drained and turned into a parking lot for the golf carts from the adjacent “King’s Crown” golf course, a haven for contemporary Scrooges who want to own everything and exploit the natural world in their own perverse interests. The parking lot is a case in point. You want to trade endangered frogs for asphalt. How depraved!”
There we have it folks. Our masters want to ruin another piece of nature’s bounty to serve their selfish aims. Get ready to see those poor little endangered frogs lying on their backs panting for breath, writhing, foaming at the mouth, dying on the hot asphalt surface of the paved-over swamp.
This is why I’m selling these t-shirts. As you can see, they say “Frog Murder” on the front and depict a jackboot crushing a little frogus hoppitatus lying on its back on a slab of asphalt.
Every penny raised by the sale of these t-shirts will go to the purchase of low-tech weapons to be deployed in the upcoming “Battle of the Swamp.” Pitchforks, garden rakes, and hoes are being donated by Home Depot. We will be purchasing shovels, hedge clippers and some small hand tools such as screwdrivers, ball-peen hammers, and monkey wrenches.
The t-shirts are $18. They are 100% cotton and fade resistant. They come in one color: black. The sizes are standard.
The Battle of the Swamp is real. Some of us will be wounded. Some of us will be killed. But all of us can take pride in the righteousness of our cause.
I say “Ribit, Ribit” in solidarity with the frogs. This is war!
Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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