Antiprosopopoeia (an-ti-pro-so-po-pe’-i-a): The representation of persons [or other animate beings] as inanimate objects. This inversion of prosopopoeia or personification can simply be the use of a metaphor to depict or describe a person [or other animate being].
We called him “The Rock” because he had broken a window with his nose when we were playing hide and seek. He was hiding in an abandoned greenhouse. He had tripped over an old piece of hose and he hit one of the glass panels face-first. He has a big nose, and it acted as a sort of bumper shattering the glass and enabling his face to go through unscathed, although he sustained a small gash on the bridge of his nose.
After that incident, The Rock had an almost magical aura. He was thought of as invincible. He did dangerous things to maintain his cache. He did the usual: bungee jumping, rock climbing, parachuting, bull riding, knife throwing target. But, above and beyond everything else, was sneaking so-called illegal immigrants into the US from Mexico. He had a Jeep Cherokee. He crossed the border with stealth at San Luis in Arizona. He would put two immigrants under the hood, on either side of the engine. For some reason, Customs officers never looked under the hood. The Rock told me it was because they thought anybody hiding there would be dead from exhaust fumes, and they didn’t want to deal with paperwork. So, although it was dangerous, the risk wasn’t that high. The Rock got bored with smuggling people, and found something else, more in line with his moniker.
He became a Middle School teacher. It took a few years to get the required teaching degree and certification. His danger angle was sustained while he was completing his education by cleaning wild animal cages at the zoo, while the animals were roaming around their cages! People loved to watch him run from the lion and lock himself inside the safety cage inside the cage. He almost changed his mind about being a school teacher, but had too much invested in it to give it up.
His first day of teaching was just as he expected it would be. There was a shooting incident in another wing of the school. He was hit by five flying objects, one of which was a pair of scissors that stuck in his left shoulder. He left them there until the end of class to show his commitment to teaching. As he was sitting there going over the math lesson, somebody lit his desk on fire. He climbed up on his desk singing “Fire!” All the students lit their desks on fire and started dancing along with him. His pants caught on fire and he pulled them off, exposing his black bikini underpants. Everybody screamed and somebody pulled a fire alarm. The firefighters hosed down the classroom, put out the fire, and nobody got hurt.
My friend was fired from teaching and more is or less blackballed from the teaching profession for “removing his pants in class.” After the incident, the administration called him “Dead Meat.” He tried to explain that his pants were on fire, but nobody listened.
My friend is trying find some new dangerous thing to do. He told me he’s thinking about becoming a crossing guard.
Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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