Apophasis (a-pof’-a-sis): The rejection of several reasons why a thing should or should not be done and affirming a single one, considered most valid.
I was totally excited. I had learned how to make better decisions. Deciding is possibly the most distinctively human thing we do. Making better decisions will make us better humans. All my life I’ve been a conclusion- jumper or a judgment-snapper. I never thought twice. It saved a lot of time, but it wreaked havoc on my life. Here are a few of my fast-choosing outcomes that were pretty bad:
I. I got hit by a car. I wanted to cross the street, I would be late for school. So, I ran across the street. The traffic was heavy. I was hit by an SUV. I broke both of my legs and got a fractured skull.
II. I blinded my little brother in one eye. I was working on my toy trains, using my Lionel train screwdriver. A fly landed on my little brother’s eyelid. Before he could brush it away I went to stab it with my screwdriver. The fly flew away before I could get it, but I got my little brother’s eye instead.
III. I almost killed the family dog, Roofer. I was home alone, and I was supposed to be watching him. He was out in the yard. He was a little dog, but very furry. He was a cross between a miniature sheepdog and miniature Maltese terrier. He was a “She-tese.” It started raining and Roofer got soaked. I let him in the back door into the laundry room. The dryer was running, so I threw him in. I let him run for a half-hour on cotton/heavy duty. When I pulled him out, he was dry and fluffy, but he was unconscious. I thought he might have heat stroke, so I put him in the freezer for ten minutes. When I pulled him out of the freezer, he staggered across the kitchen floor and laid down in his doggie bed.
Well, there you have it. Now, I’ve learned to think of alternatives before act. It takes a little more time, but mostly it keeps me out of trouble. For example: say, I want to get drunk. 1. I could drink a blend of shaving lotion and lemon extract. Yech! Tastes bad. Thumbs down. 2. I could buy a bottle of whiskey at the liquor store. Uh oh! I’m broke. Thumbs down. 3. Go “visit” Dad. He’s a drunk. I could get drunk with him and when he passes out, steal a bottle of whiskey from his well-stocked liquor cabinet. Bingo! Decision made—go to Dad’s
See how it works? It’s almost like logic or something.i am selling this decision-making scheme on the internet. It’s called “1-2-3 be a Jury in Your Head.” The whole course is on one sheet of paper. It has a list of things to decide about (e.g. when to take out the trash), blanks for filling in three different decisions, and a “bottom line” where the final decision is filled in. The course costs $5.00 and comes in a sharp-looking zip lock bag.
Well, it’s time for me to go—to go pee in my back yard.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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