Chronographia (chro-no-graph’-i-a): Vivid representation of a certain historical or recurring time (such as a season) to create an illusion of reality. A kind of enargia:[the] generic name for a group of figures aiming at vivid, lively description.
It was a typical winter day. It was five below zero and the wind was blowing 47 MPH—the wind sounded like “Don’t Fear the Reaper” performed by Alvin and the Chipmunks on helium. I looked out my back window and wasn’t surprised to see my neighbor’s four-year old go sliding by on the snow’s surface, like a human sled. His father Jim was chasing him struggling through three feet of snow. I kept watching and saw the little boy get tangled up and stopped by the hedgerow along my property line. Jim got to his kid before he froze to death stuffing him into his over-sized down parka. He saw me in the window and waved and smiled as he trekked past, the ice glistening on his beard.
Jim and his family had moved here from a place that was pretty-much summer all the time. They didn’t know the ways of the Great North and hadn’t done research before they moved here. He had worked as a Tallyman at a 200-acre banana plantation. In August it was 110 degrees in in the plantations’ banana groves. Usually, about 4 workers would die from heat stroke each week. As Tallyman, he was responsible for weighing pickers’ banana bunches as they finished their 15 hour day’s work as “daylight came and they wanted to go home.” Acutely aware of the need to tally rapidly, he started estimating, rather than actually tallying the bananas. His boss caught on to what he was doing and he was fired.
He was forced to leave the land of parrots, coconuts, and alligators, where snow was unknown and you would run over the occasional anaconda on the way to work. He liked wearing shorts year-round and breathing clear air conditioned air. He had learned how to surf and could shoot selfie videos while riding a wave. He had two orange trees in his yard. The season was stuck on summer—on sun, and heat and the occasional hurricane or tornado. As far as Jim was concerned, it was paradise.
Now he was headed north—way up north. He had gotten a job at a Walleye packing plant, called “Eye, eye, eye.” His job was to fold the boxes that the Walleyes were frozen in and shipped. It was summer when he arrived, so he didn’t see any difference from where he came from. He was puzzled by the lack of alligators and giant cockroaches.
Then, summer turned to fall. He was resentful, but he got used to wearing long pants and hoodies. Then, bam! It was winter. Around December 2nd he had a mild heart attack shoveling snow. Then it snowed three feet and he was trapped with his family in their little home. That’s when I saw him chasing his wind-borne little boy across the snow.
I had a “Nordic Blaster” snow blower and worked six hours liberating his family from the snow. He opened his garage door from inside and had a banana in each hand, holding them like pistols pointing at me. He asked “Who the hell are you? How did you get here?” I reminded him I was his next door neighbor and he put the bananas down on the hood of his car. He invited me in for a drink.
I went inside and it was about 80 degrees. His wife and the toddler were wearing bathing suits. There was sand spread on the floor and three beach lounge chairs facing the TV. We had Piña Coladas while he whined about moving up here. I got mad and told him to go back where he came from and went back home.
I called him the next day to apologize. His phone message said “I’ve gone back to where I came from. Please leave me a message.” I hung up.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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