Correctio (cor-rec’-ti-o): The amending of a term or phrase just employed; or, a further specifying of meaning, especially by indicating what something is not (which may occur either before or after the term or phrase used). A kind of redefinition, often employed as a parenthesis (an interruption) or as a climax.
It was a warm spring day. Winter had finally gone away. Sockatrees and Manatees were lounging by the Passaic River, relaxing under the Jackson Street Bridge, a cool and shady spot frequented by homeless people and prostitutes. Two crows were picking over a dead sewer rat, taking turns hoisting it up and shaking it around. The sandy bank was littered with used condoms, empty beer and vodka bottles, and rusting shopping carts from the nearby A&P. The cars rumbling over the bridge gave the place an air importance, like the Garden State Parkway or Route 22.
Sockatrees: Tell me Manatees, now that you’ve graduated from high school after staying back twice along the way, what do you plan to do with your life? Will you go into the Army? Work at Taco Bell? Pray, tell me, what’s next on your agenda?
Manatees: I‘m going to rob the Summit branch of ACCESS Savings and Loan. I bought a handgun from Joey’s Dad. I got one of those balaclavas at the ski shop, and I’m going take a car for a test drive from “Golden Wheels Used Cars.” It’s gonna be my getaway car—after I’m done I’ll light it on fire down here by the river—ooh—on the other hand, maybe I’ll take to “Earl Scheib’s” and have it painted for $99.00. I don’t know—maybe it would be best just to return it in the middle of the night—yeah, that’s what I’ll do, bring it back to “Golden Wheels.”
Sockatrees: Have you purchased a gym bag to put all your ill-gotten gains in?
Manatees: Wow! I forgot that one. Thanks Sockatrees!
Sockatrees: Don’t thank me. Why in the name of all that’s true, good, and beautiful do you want to rob a savings and loan?
Manatees: What’re you drunk? What a stupid question! I’ll be rich! I’ll be able to boss people around. I’ll get lots of girls. All my desires will be gratified. My life will be good.
Sockatrees: Good!? You are a fool Manatees. The “Good” is not to be found in the satisfaction of your desires. It is to be found in the pursuit of Justice, obedience to the Law, and the rehabilitation of your soul so you remember the far away planet you come from where everything is True: where everything is unchanging, and your soul was in sweet harmony with it. You will remember how you looked down at Earth, saw it’s shifting swirling colors, leaned too far, and fell down to it and landed in a body demanding its satisfaction with donuts, and sex, warm baths, and candy, and greed. Save your soul! Refrain from robbing the savings and loan! Stealing is unjust.
Manatees: Huh?
Manatees robbed the savings and loan. He made a clean getaway and returned the car to “Golden Wheels.” He found a college with open admissions, and used some of the money he robbed to pay his tuition. He graduated with honors. Eventually, he became a brain surgeon, saving the lives of hundreds of people, including infants and children. He donated a significant portion of his wealth to a foundation devoted to paying needy high school graduates’ college tuition.
Sockatrees was on his deathbed. He had been given three days to live. He struggled with the immorality of keeping Manaees’ secret all his life. He ratted out Manatees and died the next day. The statute of limitations on armed robbery was 55 years.
Manatees was arrested, and went to trial. He was found guilty. Given his wealth, Manatees was able to bribe the judge, who vacated his sentence of 20 years. Although he was a convicted felon, his work as a brain surgeon continued. The good he did as a brain surgeon and philanthropist far outweighed his criminal past. Everybody loved him.
The judge was pleased with his new Bentley and used his connections to help get Manatees nominated for President.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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