Eucharistia (eu-cha-ris’-ti-a): Giving thanks for a benefit received, sometimes adding one’s inability to repay.
Thank you for the special bonus I have wanted a blender for years, I will make smoothies, one a day, from a banana, strawberries, mushrooms, blueberries, canned yams and coconuts. I will toast “Banshell Bushwhackers” every time I hoist a smoothie made by the spinning blades of this blender.
But, I’m not sure I deserve it. Was it for jumping on the fire that started in Bay 14? Two weeks in the hospital was a wonderful rest, and the skin grafts make me feel like a new man. Ha ha!
Or maybe it was the time I caught the baby who had fallen off the loading dock. Eddy Bing had left his baby there while he went inside get his cigarettes. It was a five-foot drop to the ground. Little Emily could’ve been killed and Eddy would be in prison now. Thank God we’ve cancelled “Bring Your Child to Work Day.” It’s good to see Eddie out and about and still working here.
Oh, how about the masked robbers episode? Three gun-wielding bozos wearing balaclavas and aiming shiny new Glocks at us, demanding the payroll. They were so stupid—there’s no payroll—everybody’s checks are direct deposited! I told them so, and they left, arguing with each other.
I can’t think of anything else—oh, wait a minute? Boss, remember the time you left your cellphone on my desk? You took off to deal with some emergency. I picked it up and discovered it was unlocked. I found a load of videos and downloaded them to my computer, and then, to a thumb drive. I took the thumb drive home and watched the videos. I know it was inappropriate, but I was curious. What I saw didn’t surprise me, given the kind of person you are. What I saw was the happiest family in Rye City. I edited the videos into a sort of storybook showing your wonderful family. Such love. It was an open book.
Anyway, this blender far surpasses anything I’ve done to deserve it. But I shall accept it out of gratitude for the wonderful colleagues and boss I have. Thank-you!
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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