Paraprosdokian: A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase [or series = anticlimax] is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part. . . . For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. An especially clever paraprosdokian not only changes the meaning of an early phrase, but also plays on the double meaning of a particular word.(1)
“I had a great thyme in my garden, It was six feet tall.” Ha, Ha! That’s funny. I think I’ll use it in my comedy routine. I spend most of my time composing hilarious jokes, like the thyme joke. “What did the rodeo horse say to the cowboy? If I could make a buck, I could throw my rider.” This is high comedy—it has everything: money, violence, revenge. This is a classic, and I wrote it and performed it, and nobody laughed at it. “I walked into a Church and asked a priest where God was. ‘In that book over there.’ He said.” Ha, Ha! This is so funny even the Pope would laugh. God works in mysterious ways! Ha! Ha! Religion is always funny. “What did Judas whisper in Jesus’ ear? You need a breath mint.” My God that’s funny. It teeters on the edge of perfection. “How many Presbyterians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Presbyterians don’t screw in lightbulbs.” Wo! I’m going over the edge. I’m rolling on the floor. I think I’m having a heart attack.
Jim dialed 911. The ambulance arrived. As they were putting him on the stretcher Jim asked, “Will this gizmo make me taller? Stretcher, Ha! Ha! Get it?” Then he passed out and went into what orderlies thought were convulsions, but it was actually laughter. They strapped him down and took off for the hospital. This was Jim’s seventh heart attack induced by inane laughter. He suffered from “Bad Joke Syndrome.” He was a regular in the Emergency Room. Everybody said he was lucky to be alive. He had been admonished countless times by Dr, Bleak to stop with the stupid jokes or he would kill himself. Jim was supposed the be reading “The Scarlet Letter” and discussing it with Dr. Bleak’s assistant Dick Dour. But Jim had been lax—it never failed. He’d nearly die from inane laughter, and then go back to writing and performing his for-shit jokes in front of family and what few friends he had left. One of those “friends” was Red Oxnard.
Red worked in the IKEA warehouse in Newark, New Jersey. He had known Jim since their school days in Morristown, New Jersey. That’s when Jim started suffering from Bad Joke Syndrome (BJS). He would try to make up funny lyrics for the school song, blurt out in class, make up jokes about rope climbing in gym class, and more. When people saw him coming they would yell “shut up!” But Red stuck with him. He knew Jim would gain access to his annuity what he was 45. His parents had died in a “carbon monoxide” event in their garage when Jim was 15. Jim had made jokes about what had happened and he was “sent away” until he was 21. He was released, uncured of BJS on his 21st birthday. Red picked him up, and lauded his joke efforts, telling him he was getting better. But he wasn’t. Actually, he was getting worse.
Red called his girlfriend on the phone to tell her his plan was going well. He was about to worm his way into Jim’s will and then show him “Benny Hill” reruns until he laughed himself to death with another heart attack.
Jim was listening in and recording Red’s phone call. He accosted Red in the hall and said “Ha! Ha! The joke’s on you!” He started playing the recording in Red’s face. Red said, “I was only joking.” Jim started laughing. He laughed so hard he blew his aorta and died. Red’s plan was foiled and per his will, Jim’s fortune was donated to the Henny Youngman Foundation. Jim’s tombstone reads: ”I’m dead. I can’t get you started.”
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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