Perclusio

Perclusio (per-clu’-si-o): A threat against someone, or something.

“Can’t you read? The sign in front of to my house says ‘No Parking,’ not ‘Free Parkihg.’ It was put up by the city.” Actually, that wasn’t true. My son had made the sign in art class, as the final piece for his art project “Who says we’re free?” The other signs in the project were “Use Crosswalks,” and “Press Button to Cross.”

My son’s no parking sign was a masterpiece. It looked lke the real deal. So, I mounted it on a 4×4, dug a hole with my post hole digger, and put it up in font my my house. So, you might ask: Why did yo go to so much trouble? Well, I’ll tell you, and it isn’t pretty. It’s the marauding gangs of dog-eating Venezuelan refugees. I’ve never seen any, and nobody else has either, but, if we can’t believe presidential candidates, who can believe? What this enables is a clear line of fire that is not blocked by somebody’s parked car. I am serving my community and the United States of America—the good old red, white, and blue. So, the guy moved his car.

He heard bugles and drums. they got closer and closer. He ran side, loaded his assault weapon, and grabbed his binoculars. He crept up the street, and reconnoitered the marching group. It was a group of elderly women, some with walkers and canes, but almost all of them had small dogs under their arms. They were flaunting their intention to eat the dogs. They had a big banner that said “Seniors Love Their Little Dogs.” Their banner was a ruse—it says “Loves their little dogs—YES, LOVE TO EAT. They will be picnicking on those little dogs in the park at the end of my street.

Some of the marchers would raise their canes in a threatening manner. My hands were shaking as I set my AR-15 on a sandbag. I was risking a lot, so I called 911, gave a phony name and told them I was ready to kill some dog-eating Venezuelans, rampaging down my street. The police officer gasped. I ran outside to my no parking sign and pulled it up and hid it in my garage

The police arrived in minutes. They confiscated my weapon and arrested me. I’m awaiting trial for installing a fake road sign, and menacing.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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