Apagoresis (a-pa-gor’-e-sis): A statement designed to inhibit someone from doing something. Often uses exaggeration [or hyperbole] to persuade. It may combine an exaggeration with a cause/effect or antecedent/consequence relationship. The consequences or effects of such a phrase are usually exaggerated to be more convincing.
“If you don’t stop peeing on the toilet seat, I will kill you” my mother said. She was the only one who complained in the whole family—2 brothers, 3 sisters and Dad. Why should I put the seat up just to pee? It is a waste of time. It was summer and I had to be at the playground by 10 to get into the all-day horseshoe match. They called me Mr. Ringer. It was the only thing I was really good at aside from doing wheelies on my banana-seat bike. I could go a whole block.
So, I ignored my mother’s admonition. I made a sign and tapeed it to the open toilet seat lid: “Wipe me off with a piece of toilet paper, stupid.” I figured that would do the trick—that she’d get off my back and I could have a good summer.
When I came home from the playground, my mother was waiting in the living room. She said: “Johnny, I told you I would kill you if you didn’t stop peeing on the toilet seat. I keep my word.” She pulled a Ruger from her purse and aimed it at my head. Then, she stuck it in my back and marched me to the bathroom. The toilet was just as I had left it with pee drops on the seat. “Sit!” She said. I was terrified—I was going to die sitting in my pee. She told me to close my eyes. I heard my father’s voice saying “Now?” “Yes, go ahead.” said my mother. I felt warm liquid hitting me in the face. I felt sick and opened my eyes. Dad had a squirt gun, and was squirting warm water all over me. I was relieved!
I had learned my lesson, I thought. My mother aimed the Ruger between my eyes. She pulled the trigger and a flag came out of the barrel that said “Put up the seat or die.” We all laughed. The next morning I forgot to put the toilet seat up. My mother shot me in the leg when I came home from the playground. She was arrested for attempted manslaughter. I found out when I was in the hospital that a good number of boys are shot by their mothers for peeing on the toilet seat. In fact, it’s almost become normal.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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