Sententia (sen-ten’-ti-a): One of several terms describing short, pithy sayings. Others include adage, apothegem, gnome, maxim, paroemia, and proverb.
“Go to the ant, you slacker! Observe its ways and become wise.” Proverbs 6:6
I wanted to become wise. I had tried everything. I was reading the Bible’s Book of Proverbs and came across the saying about ants. I wondered how ant-watching would make me wise. How long should I watch them? Are some ants wiser than others? If they’re so wise, why are they only ants? There was an ant mound in my back yard. I would set up an observation site. I had a lawn chair and a beach umbrella. I had a six-pack of Coke in a small cooler, and I set my iPhone on “video” to document the wise things the ants would do.
Basically, they did nothing. I sat there for a half-hour and there were no ants to be seen. Is this the wisdom: stay inside on hot days? I poked the mound. The mound came to life. Hundreds of ants came streaming out. They were like a wave. I was wearing shorts and they streamed up my legs. That’s when I realized the mound was a fire ant mound. They started stinging my legs and crawled up into my underwear, then, across my stomach, relentlessly stinging me. I started getting chills up my spine and I felt dizzy—my vision was going blurry and my legs were swelling up. Lucky for me, I had my cellphone. I called 911. I was on the verge of passing out when the paramedics arrived. They tore off my clothes and sprayed me all over with wasp killer. That killed the ants. They loaded me in the ambulance and took me off to the hospital for observation.
After I had been “observed” overnight, and soaked in Benadryl, I was released and my girlfriend drove me home. When we opened the door, there was a swarm of ants on the living room floor. They reared up like little horses and shook their heads. We stood there looking at each other while my girlfriend backed out the door. Suddenly, they came racing toward me making a collective hissing sound. I turned to run and I slipped and fell. I felt them biting my feet and calves and my legs went numb. I couldn’t get up. I was going to die from fire ant venom poisoning.
I yelled: “God! Please help me! I go to church some times! I followed your instructions in Proverbs. How can ants teach me wisdom? Does being killed by ants do it?” Out of nowhere Blue Oyster Cult’s “Don’t Fear the Reaper” started playing on my stereo and a spinning color wheel light popped out of the floor. A deep male voice said “Go away!” And the ants disappeared and my legs could work again. And God said, “I’m sorry about the ant thing. I should’ve been more specific. I should’ve said ‘Carpenter ants’ or something like that.” There was a wooshing sound, and then, silence and the light wheel disappeared. God was gone.
Next week, I’m setting up a new observation site down the street. There is an old oak tree that carpenter ants are destroying. They seem quite friendly. I can’t wait for the wisdom lessons they’re going to teach me. I will set up a blog: “The Wisdom of the Ants.” Make sure to tune in!
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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