Apocarteresis (a-po-car-ter’-e-sis): Casting of all hope away from one thing and placing it on another source altogether.
“Time will tell.” I was waiting patiently for the unfolding of my success as a human being. Part of the problem was that I didn’t know what it meant to be a “success” as a human being, but yet I knew it was the goal of all people. My Uncle Arnold taught me this, but also told me there are an untold number of routes to success. Whatever your answer to the question “What is a human being?” is, will affect your striving. His idea was “nasty, brutish and short.” He was lucky to be short; he was only 5 feet tall. He could rejoice in that! One out of three without even trying!
He worked hard on nasty and brutish. He learned how to insult people and hurt their feelings and never apologize. He wrote a book of insults that made it to number 10 on the New York Times Bestseller List. It was titled “Kiss My Ass Yo-Yo.” It established nastiness as a valued character attribute. “Kiss my ass!” became the rallying cry of acolytes. Fights broke out on subways, in parking lots and even at places of worship, where clergy began insulting their flocks, and making it clear that they were unworthy of a heavenly afterlife. At one evangelical church, the Preacher looked up toward God and yelled “Kiss my ass” and the congregation did likewise, yelling at each other, and eventually wrestling and punching each other. It devolved into a riot and police were dispatched. Teargas was fired and things calmed down.
Then, there was “brutish.” It related mainly to hygiene and deform—it was considered brutish to burp, fart, poop and pee outside; copulate in public in plain view, and eat boogers while standing on street corners or waiting for public transportation. Table manners were also altered—people ate with their hands right off the table’s surface, wiped their mouths on their sleeves, and fought over food like raccoons and bears. They would also pick on weaker people, and make them carry them around in sedan chairs, or on their backs.
I could see why this construction of “human being” would appeal to my little uncle, and vast numbers of other people. But, it did not appeal to me. I tossed it off like a hot potato. Frankly, it took too much effort to achieve. So, I went with “people are the leisured beings.” This quotation is from “Lay Down and Wake Up.” It is one of those ancient works that seems more insightful as the centuries pass. It was written by an ancient Egyptian mattress salesman, who would give the book away free with every purchase. Just to give you an idea of its content, Chapter One is titled “Do Nothing, Be Happy!” “Doing nothing” is extremely difficult to define. One must grapple with the meaning-laden question: Is nothing something? Written in a dialogue form, the text is a series of questions and answers between a nasty and brutish young man named Ank-Trumphet, and a wise philosopher named Omari. They are laying down on separate couches under the shade of a tent.
Anyway, I am a follower of leisure. It is good. Like the ancient author of “Lay Down and Wake Up” I sell mattresses for a living. I lay on a mattress in the store’s window. I wear silk pajamas, and sometimes, sip a Mimosa.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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