Dialogismus (di-a-lo-giz’-mus): Speaking as someone else, either to bring in others’ points of view into one’s own speech, or to conduct a pseudo-dialog through taking up an opposing position with oneself.
I’d like you to meet my opponent Donal Strut. What do you think Donald?
“Witch-hunt.”
Oh, that’s right. You claim you’re not a witch, but you’re being hunted as if you are a witch.
“Hoax.”
But maybe “witch-hunt” is a euphemism, or a metaphor. We know there’s no such thing as witches, so maybe it means hunting after somebody who acts witch-like: stealing, causing widespread conflict and dissension, clogging porta-potties, lying, and more. What say?
“Rigged.”
Well, Mr. Strut is about as forthcoming as a turtle. He didn’t even laugh at my mention of clogging porta-potties, although I think it might be true, regarding him. Ha ha!
Three key terms: witch- hunt, hoax, and, rigged. I think these three words are his campaign’s keynotes. Well, he’ll be in prison soon anyway, if the jury isn’t rigged. Clearly, his conviction won’t be a hoax. They’ll probably send him to one of those minimum security prisons in California where his wife Melanomia will visit him and he will die of a heart attack playing badminton.
POSTSCRIPT
I lost the election, but my prediction came true, right down to the badminton death stroke. Strut’s funeral and burial were kept secret to bolster the ‘badminton death hoax’ that he’s not really dead, but after massive plastic surgery he is posing as Mick Jagger and touring with The Rolling Stones. “Mick” claims it’s a hoax. He’s not Strut.
“Look at me, do I look like that fat old sod?”
I went to see the Stones in concert, to see if I could detect anything strange. Mick came on stage and opened their set with “The Wheels on Bus.” It had a bluesy tone to it, but it was also Strut’s favorite song—they had played it at his third wedding.
I was alarmed, but I didn’t show it. Suddenly, another Mick came running onto the stage with a loose handcuff dangling from his wrist. He tackled the other Mick and yelled “Hoax!” with a thick British accent, and beat him in the face with a cowbell that was laying next to the drum kit. It sounded like Blue Oyster Cult’s opening riff in “Don’t Fear the Reaper.” This made me think there was some kind of implant embedded in Strut’s cheek from plastic surgery that made the cowbell ring.
Things were getting totally out of hand when Kieth Richard raised his guitar threateningly and said into his microphone:
“Mick’s got a birthmark on his nutsack that looks like a bleedin’ volcano.” The crowd gasped and started chanting “nutsack, nutsack, nutsack.”
The two Micks pulled down their pants and stretched out their nutsacks in front of 5,000 fans. The crowd went wild. The Mick who had been beating the other Mick in the face with the cowbell, and who was wearing a handcuff, had the birthmark clearly present. The other Mick did not. DNA tests were taken later and it was determined he was Donald Strut. He was returned to prison and 50 years were added to his sentence. Melanomia divorced Strut and married Elton Mush, the famous battery-powered hoe mogul. Mick’s volcano birthmark has become the most popular tattoo in recorded history.
If you see a man walking funny down the street, chances are he’s coming from a tattoo parlor.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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