Daily Archives: May 1, 2020


Distributio (dis-tri-bu’-ti-o): (1) Assigning roles among or specifying the duties of a list of people, sometimes accompanied by a conclusion.  (2) Sometimes this term is simply a synonym for diaeresis or merismus, which are more general figures involving division.

DT: OK–We need a comprehensive plan so we don’t get blamed for this. I mean, my God 50,000 people have died. I think most of them would have voted for me. We’re in deep shit.

I’ve gathered you together here today as my key people. Anyway, let’s get things lined up. Ivanka, you have no responsibilities, really. I want to you to show up in tasteful clothes and stand beside me nodding your head in agreement with whatever I’m saying. Jared, you’ll pretty much do the same, only you’ll actually say something every few weeks. Mostly, I want you talking about crackpot ideas based in conspiracy theories, mostly concerned with pointing fingers and also giving people false hope and blaming it on Obama and Biden when you get caught. Fauci, at briefings I want you way in the back. Far enough so nobody can see you because you’re such a midget. If you want to say something, raise your hand and I won’t call on you. Flynn, welcome back! I need you to help with my lies, creating them in a way that I won’t get caught, and if I do, taking the blame yourself. Don’t worry, I’ll pardon you.

What? What do you want Pence?

MP: Anything for me boss?

DT: Yes. Go paint Mommy’s toenails.

Are we ready?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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