Daily Archives: May 2, 2023


Adnominatio (ad-no-mi-na’-ti-o): 1. A synonym for paronomasia[punning]. 2. A synonym for polyptoton. 3. Assigning to a proper name its literal or homophonic meaning.

Joey Ford was a human pickup truck—he was like an F-100 with legs. He was a Ford. He had a Ford. He drove a Ford. It was too funny. One of his favorite things to do was ford creeks when the spring melt was running. He had an extender on his air filter so he could ride through three or four feet of water. When we called him “Joey Ford” we meant it!

Joey was my best friend. One of our favorite things to do with the Ford was troll for trash on the day designated for putting junk by the curb. This particular day we had scored pretty big: a bicycle in good shape, a stool, a wheelbarrow with a few years left, a floor lamp, a football helmet, an aquarium, and few more less noteworthy things. I liked the floor lamp and asked Joey if I could have it. He said “Sure” and I lifted it out of the truck when we got to my house. I hauled it up to my bedroom and plugged in next to my bed. The chord was like snakeskin. The lamp was gold-colored and very heavy. It had a marble base and three light sockets, like an upside down chandelier. Each light socket had its own switch that twisted to turn the lights off and on. The light sockets were made of green stone that looked like jade. The lightbulbs were clear and shaped like bananas with opalescent clouds swirling around inside. The lampshade was made of parchment and had different kinds of animal horns drawn on it in pen and ink.

I couldn’t believe what I was looking at! it was a normal floor lamp when I saw it by the curb and threw it in the truck. What the hell happened? I turned on the lamp. My bedroom turned a beautiful shade of deep purple. My bedroom was transformed into a passion pit. The lamp said: “I am Mood. My glow has facilitated romance, passion, the production of children, and the settling of disputes. I am the glow in the light bulbs where Thomas Edison put me and built this lamp as my home. I helped him woo his wife on a little cot in his laboratory.

I am one of a kind. I have inhabited many fixtures, not all of them electric: I have ridden on whale oil and many other wicks fueled by many waxes and liquids. But electricity is my bliss. I prefer DC, but AC works fine. Now I am here,” I was reeling from the craziness of it all, I immediately thought of Peggy Sue. Maybe Mood could help me with pretty, pretty, pretty little Peggy Sue!

I invited Peggy Sue over to play Checkers in my bedroom. Mood was waiting (I thought). I twisted the switch. Nothing happened. Peggy Sue and I played several games of checkers. We decided to do it again in the near future. Our romance was born.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

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