Daily Archives: March 2, 2023


Catachresis (kat-a-kree’-sis): The use of a word in a context that differs from its proper application. This figure is generally considered a vice; however, Quintilian defends its use as a way by which one adapts existing terms to applications where a proper term does not exist.

I biked a racket, like a horse, in my living room. I stuck it between my legs, with the grip sticking out the back like a tail. Then, I run in place like I’m pedaling a bicycle, it’s a great way to repurpose a tennis racket when you’ve quit playing tennis.

I’ve written a book titled “14 Carat Crap.” It contains projects centering on transforming garbage to gold. We become fixated on seeing things the way they are, instead of the way they could be. Everything I look at, in my mind I think of ways of transforming it. Does this make me a visionary? Yes! What if you could make your home into something else? Have you ever heard of a “crack den?” Buy my book and you’ll find out how to make your home into one for fun and profit. It’s simple, easy, and low maintenance. You’ll learn how to bribe the police, cleanly dispose of bodies, expand into prostitution, launder money, and cultivate international business relationships with Colombian and Peruvian colleagues.

What about that pool table down in the basement gathering dust? With a few nails, and a roulette wheel easily purchased on Amazon.com along with a layout to cover the pool table with, you can blow that dust away! What could be easier? Guess what? You’re on your way to running and illegal gambling casino. In my book I explain how to rig the wheel so you can control your cash flow! What could be better? People will flock to our casino. You can cleverly name it after your street, like “Casino on Elm Street.” What a deal!

One more teaser, then you’ll have buy my book. Is your refrigerator running? You better catch it! Ha! Ha! This one is so simple a child could could do it. I’m going to be blunt. You mount a hasp on the refrigerator’s side and door so the door can be padlocked shut. Clear out all the shelves. Here’s the rationale: Many people have elderly parents that they can’t afford to put in a nursing home. The “Lockable Fridge” is a perfect solution. For you, six or seven refitted fridges in your house will generate a huge return. Your customers will be required to dispose of their loved ones. Winter is the best time to run your fridge business, especially in the North, Winter climatic conditions will provide a cause of death. Perfect!

Well, there you have a taste of “14 Carat Crap.” The book contains over 100 transformations of common things, most of which turn a hefty profit.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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