Daily Archives: January 12, 2023

Epimone

Epimone (e-pi’-mo-nee): Persistent repetition of the same plea in much the same words.


You: Give me a grilled cheese sandwich. I want a grilled cheese sandwich. Fromage on toast. Now! What do I have to do to get a grilled cheese sandwhich around here? What? Do you have something against grilled cheese, or me, or both? Ok, I give up. What about peanut butter and jelly, or tuna, or bologna, or liverwurst, or what? What the hell is going on here?

Me: Your rudeness has limited your sandwich choices to “None of the Above.” I can smear some tuna on your hand if you like. Or, some peanut butter and jelly on a paper towel. If you want something on bread, that would be horseradish, fish sauce, or red pepper flakes. Oh, I can also make you wasabi on waxed paper—a favorite with many of the rude people who eat here.

You: Ok then. Can I get a goddamn bagel with cream cheese?

Me: When you curse a food item, it becomes immediately unavailable.

You: Ok, wise ass. That’s it. To Hell with your whole luncheonette—what a stupid name anyway—Manna—it sounds like Nana with an “M.” Ha ha! I tried to have lunch at Nana—ha ha. I curse you. Go to hell.

Me: You should not have done that—you have aroused the anger of the Spirit overseeing and protecting the Manna food franchise.

You: You are so full of . . . argh!

A slab of lox flew out of the showcase and hit him in the face knocking him down. Then, he was bombed by pickled herring. Soaked with herring juice, he crawled out the door, where he was met by a band of feral cats who knocked him unconscious, and dragged him into the alley alongside Manna and ate him.

This is a gruesome story, but it could have been worse. Hmm. Come to think of it, being eaten by a band of feral cats is about as bad as it gets. The malcontent’s body was found the next day. The cats had picked him clean, like vultures.

Clearly, the Manna franchise takes care of it’s own. It is mentioned as far back as the Bible, when it consisted of traveling wagons that would catch food falling from the sky and distribute it to people wandering in the desert.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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