Hysteron Proteron


Hysteron Proteron (his’-ter-on pro’-ter-on): Disorder of time. (What should be first, isn’t.)

I went to bed and put my clothes on. The sun was just coming up, so I knew it was time for lunch. I took off my clothes, went into the kitchen, and put the bologna away.  I saw a small monkey sitting on my couch wearing orange lipstick on his mouth. I pulled up my my pants and sat on the toilet. That’s when I remembered I had taken acid. I stood up and my legs looked like something from a poultry farm, all covered with feathers. I had the urge to cluck but made a quiet peeping sound. Suddenly the haze started to clear. I looked in the mirror and to my surprise I had a tattoo of a chainsaw on my cheek. When I tried to count, I could only count backward. I went down in the basement and found a dark corner to keep me awake and ride out this psychedelic  nightmare.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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